her vagina looked like bernie madoff
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
