If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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