Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wish i was in the wii world.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
