dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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