U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
