You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize