Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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