Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
