if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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