Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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