Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
