whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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