Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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