In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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