You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
