I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
