fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
