it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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