her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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