she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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