You work out of a Hotel?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize