wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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