God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
