Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
