Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
