Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
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