just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize