i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
