I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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