i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
