The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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