There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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