Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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