Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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