Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
