Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
