Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
