we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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