chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
