i already hear my dad disowning me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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