sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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