Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize