North Korea, Best Korea!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
