Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
