dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Less talking, more tequila
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
