i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
