I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
