I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
FUCK WHALES
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
