Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
