I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
