Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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