What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
