Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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