Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
