Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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