It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize