so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my shit smells like andre
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
