Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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