32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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