can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
