I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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