He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
