i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Small penises have feelings too.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
