come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize